19-01-25

January 25, 2019

Beth, describing something fun she'd done for Zak --- "I did a mom thing." I thought she meant that she'd done a things mom do, but she meant she'd done a thing that I do. I've thought about that and smiled at least five times today.

Kennedy is here! She has scanned the turtle Frank gave her, and she and Barry are going out to see him after her appointment today. 

Brittany had an interview dinner last night and ended up sitting at a table by Jon Gruden, from the Oakland Raiders. 

Beverly and Beth called me last night and we laughed together.

Beth is planning a visit --- Feb 6 - 10.

Angela saw the history post I put on her timeline.

Morgan:

One year. One year since I was on the couch watching Dateline with Brandon and thought to myself, “hm, I should’ve started my period today. I think I’ll go grab that old pregnancy test that’s at the back of my cabinet and just see what happens.” And so on the next commercial break, that’s what I did.

Peed on this stick and carried it into the kitchen while I waited on the results. Made Brandon and myself a bowl of cereal before walking back to find the word PREGNANT waiting on that stick.

I just said to myself “holy shit”. Took the test and put it in my nightstand and sat back down on the couch like nothing happened. All I could think was that test was pretty old and it was probably a false positive. There’s NO WAY we got pregnant the first month off my birth control. I decided the test wasn’t trustworthy and I would just go get a couple in the morning and try those.

So I did.

Two more in the target bathroom at 7:30 in the morning on my way to work. Both told me the same exact thing. We were going to be parents!! I drove the entire way to work in silence and disbelief that what we’d wanted happened so quickly. Panic and adrenaline and excitement and day dreams of what our life was about to become coursing through me. I COULDNT WAIT TO FIND THE PERFECT WAY TO TELL MY BRANDON HE WAS GOING TO BE A DADDY!

I thank God every day for making me this tiny boy’s mama. I thank Him for not making us wait very long - I know how many people struggle to get this positive message and I am so aware how lucky we were to not have that struggle. I thank Him for giving me strength and a totally incredible, capable body to create this human life. I didn’t know one year ago what this unmatchable, unconditional love would feel like. But I do now.